Scott Turnbull and Lara Thoms. Photo: Daniel Boud
Inescapable fact: We’re all gonna die.
Indisputable fact: The ‘death industry’, ie. those good folk helping the bereaved arrange funerals is massive (well, there’s always a demand – and just think of all those times you’ve heard ads exhorting you to get funeral cover).
Little known fact: The Director, with former funeral director Scott Turnbull and performer Lara Thoms is a bleakly amusing, hugely informative and fascinating insight into how the death industry works, and what happens to you (and your dearly beloved) when you’ve popped your clogs and are heading inexorably towards cremation or burial.
Sounds grim? I am really pleased to have seen it. Death is such a taboo subject in our society but please refer Fact 1 above.
It starts with Thoms dressing a dead body, slowly and respectfully. Said body soon becomes animate as Turnbull rates Thoms’ technique (she gets a 5 out of 10), then informs and reprises some of the many things he has learned as a funeral director. It’s a business, so pretty soon we’re onto the costs and cost breakdowns. You want a cheap coffin or the Maserati version – choose between $5000 and $35,000. Casket flowers? Cost of celebrant or priest? Service fee? Well, you get the picture, a picture that adds up to an average of $16,500 for a basic cremation. Want to be buried? That’ll cost more. As mentioned previously, it’s a business. Big business.
And according to Thoms, pretty much anyone can become a funeral director.
With understated but beautiful black humour, she and Turnbull take us through the process of a cremation; and a day in the life of a funeral director. (Fridays are popular, did you know?)
What unusual things has Turnbull, a third-generation, albeit ex- funeral director, seen buried with the deceased? The answer was unexpected!
Favourite valedictory songs? Not a total surprise that Sarah Brightman’s Time to Say Goodbye tops the list. But there are others, more unusual. What would you choose?
That’s part of the message (unstated) behind this show. A good idea to tell your loved ones what you want; saves them a little bit of heartache and worry.
Turnbull and Thoms do not set out to shock or confront. It’s death – it’s part of life. Turnbull says the show is ‘structured, not scripted’, so each one is slightly varied and the audience are invited to ask questions.
If you want to see it, you’ll have to be quick. It’s part of Festival Unwrapped and on till Sunday, 19 May.
