Hi I’m Macca and I’m an alpaca. I live on a farm with lots of other animals, but my best friend in the whole world is Maggie. Maggie is also an alpaca, but she’s a bit braver than me. She once ate a whole chilli by accident and didn’t cry.
I cried just watching her.
One sunny morning, Maggie came trotting over to my paddock. “Macca Playdate time!” she shouted.
I was already excited because playdates with Maggie are the best. We played tag, hide and seek behind the hay, and tried to balance apples on our heads. I only managed to balance my apple for half a second before it rolled off and hit a chicken. The chicken squawked loudly and flew away grumpily.
After a while, Maggie said, “Macca, do you want to go to a cafe today?”
“A cafe? Yay!” I said, even though last time I went, I accidentally sat on a muffin.
We trotted to the cafe in town. When we got there, I could smell all kinds of things: fresh bread, chocolate cake, something that smelled like burnt toast, and something that smelled like feet – I still don’t know what that was.
Maggie pointed to a huge sign that said Milkshakes. “You have to try a milkshake, Macca,” she said.
“What’s a milkshake? Is it something you shake and put on your body to make your fur shiny?” I asked.
Maggie laughed so hard she nearly fell over. “No, Silly, It’s a drink! A super yummy drink.”
“Well okay,” I said. “But only if they don’t put feet flavour in it.”
We walked to the counter. The cafe lady smiled at us even though we were probably the first alpacas she’d ever served. “What flavour would you like?” she asked.
There were so many: Chocolate, strawberry, vanilla, banana, caramel, blueberry, mango, bubblegum, rainbow swirl, unicorn sparkle, and even pickle flavour (I really hoped Maggie didn’t make me try that one).
“Start with chocolate” Maggie said.
So I did. I took one sip. Then another. Then another.
“WOW!” I shouted. “This is INCREDIBLE!”
I slurped it so fast that I got brain freeze. My eyes crossed, my ears twitched, and I made a weird noise like “Bllrrrpppp” The cafe lady gave me a napkin because I drooled on the counter.
But after my brain stopped freezing, I wanted MORE. Strawberry? YES. Vanilla? YUM. Banana? TASTY. Bubblegum Blast? AMAZING. Rainbow Swirl? MAGICAL, it even turned my tongue blue.
“Maybe slow down” Maggie said carefully.
But I didn’t slow down. I drank ten milkshakes. Maybe ELEVEN. I lost count after Rainbow Swirl.
By the time we walked home, I felt a little wobbly. The ground looked like jelly. Even the cows looked worried.
The next morning I woke up and my teeth hurt. Not just a little. A lot! They felt like tiny firecrackers were going off inside my mouth.
“Maggie.” I cried. “My teeth feel like they’re screaming!”
“Oh, Macca,” she said, shaking her fluffy head. “I think you had too many milkshakes.”
“Nooo,” I groaned. “Just maybe twelve.”
So Maggie took me to the alpaca dentist. He wore shiny glasses and had a tiny mirror he kept poking around my mouth.
“Open wide, Macca,” he said. I opened my mouth so wide that two flies flew in by accident.
“Hmmm” the dentist said. “This is what we call a classic case of Milkshake Mouth. Too much sugar.”
He cleaned my teeth, polished them, fixed the sore bits, and even gave me a sticker that said I was brave at the Dentist, even though I wasn’t really.
When we left, I felt much better. Maggie smiled at me and said: “From now on, Macca, just ONE milkshake. Not twelve, not eleven, not even ten.”
I nodded. “Yes, yes. Absolutely. Only one.”
And I meant it. Really. Truly.
Well mostly.
And that’s the story of how I became known as Macca the Drinking Alpaca, the alpaca who loves milkshakes but learned the hard way that even the best things are best in small amounts.
The end.
